catfish19's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Married Man I never ever thought that saying about the grass always being greener on the other side of the fence was true, until the last couple of weeks. See, there's this beautiful guy at work, he's new. The first time I saw him, I was struck big-time. It's not so much that he's physically real hot - he sure ain't perfect, although he does have the look I generally go for, kinda rough around the edges but with a lot of style. What I really like about him is his fantastic attitude. I mean, let's face it, he's working a crap job (as am I), but he's always smiling and friendly. And I love his voice. But get this, a few days back when I was talking to this guy, I spotted a ring on his finger. You know, THE finger that matters. At first I thought I'd give him the benefit - he looks way too young to be married... until I heard him talking about his wife. The thing that really scares me about all this is the fact that finding out about his status has only made him more attractive to me. Like, I'll still make myself look really good before I go to work in case he happens to be checking me out - and I swear I've caught him in that very act many, many times. I don't know what I think I'd want to happen... I mean, would I let him cheat on his wife? Leave her for me? Though this is probably jumping the gun a bit at this stage... I have way too much respect for marriage to want either of those things happen. So why do I keep trying to impress him? The only answer I can come up with is that it's cos I'm not supposed to have him, and having said that, that his attentions feel even more flattering now that he's been elevated to unattainable status in my eyes. It's not so much that I want what I can't get, but that I possibly could get what I want, and that makes me feel good about myself even if I would never act on these feelings. Hm. That was confusing. It makes sense in my head, y'know? 10:20 p.m. - 2004-03-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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