catfish19's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So my logic wouldn't hurt you It's just so fucking... hard. I want her to be better, but that's not even what she wants for herself. I don't know what to say when I write to her, because if I tell her I want all that shit to be gone, she'll think I'm saying I don't love her how she is. If I say I love her how she is, she'll think I don't want her to be happier and that I don't understand how much she hurts. Part of me wants to just cut myself off from her, but then I think about the day I heard about a death back home and how she was the one who held me while I cried when everyone else just left me stupid "I'm sorry" notes. I loved this song when I first heard it last year, but never related to its words until these past few weeks. "Take my shoulder back now I would give anything to make you better I loved you till it killed me - "Better", Brooke Fraser I feel like she's burdening me with all her issues when I can't help. Not really. She was happy when I knew her, now all she gives me is a daily list of things she hates about herself, her life, and the way people treat her. Part of me wonders if it was me that was making her happy, but then I think I'm giving myself too much credit. I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't get the thought out of my head of her, seventeen time zones away, crying herself to sleep. She told me that happens every night now. 11:44 a.m. - 2004-11-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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