catfish19's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The closest I'll ever get to being a whore I shamelessly used my brother yesterday. I used him to try and make Work Guy jealous. It worked. So, what I did was this. Pete picked me up after my shift last night. He said he'd had pizza for dinner, that there was nothing around for me to eat. So, I decided to pick up a frozen meal or something from the shop. I knew Work Guy was finishing about then, so I made Pete come in with me. Timed as if on cue, we walked back in the automatic door, me laughing at something he had said, just as Work Guy and his friend exited. You should have seen his face drop. It was nothing if not an ego boost. I really am an evil little wench, playing with the poor boy like that. As if he wasn't feeling insecure enough with me playing hard-to-get, I go and up the odds to probably-just-about-impossible-to-get. That's how I know I don't really like him. I'd never do that to a guy I actually wanted. I think. I clearly just want the attention. I'm a fucking attention junkie. It's a high. I want all guys to love me. I want the girls to hate me, cos the guys love me so much. Whatever, it's all just a fantasy, that ain't gonna happen. But I can't help thinking, every guy I toy with elevates me one step closer to that dream. Not really something to aspire to, you might say. I don't care. I like the power. I want more. 8:21 p.m. - 2004-05-22 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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