catfish19's Diaryland Diary

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Cleaning it out

I am the biggest slob you will ever know. I'm not exaggerating in any way either. Enter my bedroom and you will not see an inch of floorspace - and my room ain't small either. Every surface is covered in a layer of clothing, books, CDs and random pieces of paper. A policeman once ventured in there (long story) and said he'd only seen one room worse than mine in his entire forty-year career. That was a drug dealer's.

I like living that way. Empty desk, empty mind, I've heard people say. If that's true, my mind is well and truly full. Chaos makes me feel powerful. I know I could live tidily if I wanted to, but I think that would bore me. I like the element of unpredictability that comes from living in a room that resembles a bombsite. You never know what you'll find in there - an apple core, an old diary or a twenty dollar note.

I resolved today, on my first day off this week, to begin the mammoth job of tidying up this hell-hole - I am heading off into the great unknown in less than three weeks after all. Too bad I have the attention span of an ADHD goldfish. When I tidy, I pick up one pair of undies, put them in my drawer, find a top in said drawer that I haven't worn in quite some time, try on the top with every pair of pants and every skirt I own to see if I can still pull it off, then drop the top, pants and skirts on the floor, thus creating more mess than I started with in the first place. Following that, I decide to sort through a pile of notes from last year's Uni classes but instead spent an hour and a half reading them - pity I was never so motivated to revise when I was actually enrolled in the classes!

I alphabetise my CD collection, then change my mind and group them by genre and mood. I "organise" a stack of Cosmo magazines. I match up socks from my drawer of odds. You get the idea - I do everything but actually picking up the crap off my floor, bed, desk, sofa, table and shelf and putting it where it belongs.

I hate tidying.

So I started knitting. I learnt to knit when I was about ten. I rediscovered it last year when I fell in love with woollen hats and scarves but was horrified at the prices shops were demanding for the most bohemian items. And then I rediscovered it today. I've knitted for two hours, all to avoid the inevitable. I have to do it. I have to clear out that room. Dammit.

10:34 p.m. - 2004-05-11

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