catfish19's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Forgotten, not forgiven Guy From Work Who Likes Me is getting to be more of a worry to me by the day. Whenever we're both working at the same time, the shelves within view of my checkout are consistently well stocked, while all the rest are neglected. He takes his break when he sees me heading up to the staffroom for mine. Once there he sits at the opposite end of the table from me, without fail, where he listens in on my conversations. I secretly listen to his too. That's the biggest worry. Far from being disturbed by this blatant stalking, I'm flattered. I've caught myself daydreaming about what would happen if we ever actually talked. And yes, babies were involved. I'm disgusted by how... girly I'm being about this. I've always prided myself on being above petty fantasies about soulmatey bliss, especially when it comes to guys I don't even know yet. But I realised earlier today that I do know this guy - turns out this strange distant intimacy we seem to share could have some background. Well, I used to know him, what seems like a long time ago. I can't believe I'd forgotten him - I may or may not have been drunk the first time we met. We were friends of friends of friends or something. We had a long talk on the beach outside a party. I saw him a few times after that, over about a year. Every time we saw each other, the next day my friends would be all "he said you were cute, he sooo likes you", and I would be all "shut up bitch", for boy talk makes me very self-conscious. Once, I drew a flower on his hand for some reason. He said he was never going to wash the hand again. He probably didn't. I wish I knew how I missed the connection between that stupid kid from high school and the quiet admirer I see at work every day. Clearly, he didn't forget me. In my own defence, he has grown his hair out quite a lot... and got taller, and musclier. I just feel so wierd. I never forget people. 10:56 p.m. - 2004-05-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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